I pulled out my Starwood card to call for a reservation. Why the Starwood card? Hoping I didn't get to a Marriott person honestly. I dial, wait for it to get through the blah blah blah, enter my number, say my name, say my name again, say my name again, say my name again and then get transferred. The it hangs up on me.
Repeat. Dial, wait, name four times, get a person.
Me: When will you be sending out membership cards for 2018 with updated phone numbers?
Marriott, who hates me (MWHM): uh, we're not sir. We've gone green.
Me: Is there any way for me to opt out of you going green for me?
MWHM: uh, no unfortunately there is not.
MWHM: Before we go on, can you give me your MR number?
Me: did it come through from when I entered it?
MWHM: yes, i just need to verify. (gave it to him, then my name, then my mailing address).
Me: what number should I be calling?
Me: Is that for Platinum Elite?
MWHM: Yes, that is the number for all elites.
Me: You don't have a separate number for your top tier elites?
MWHM: No, unfortunately all elites use the same line.
Me: Your system doesn't know how to say my name and I have to repeat it four times. How can that be fixed?
MWHM: Unfortunately, it cannot.
Marriott, please stop going green for just a second and send me an actual letter telling me how much you hate me for being your lifetime and current year elite, a Starwood lifetime and current year elite, and for spending a couple hundred grand on meetings over the last few years with the combined entity. Tell me you don't want me to call. Tell me that if I do call, you're going to make it so damned painful that I will regret every night and credit card spend and meeting that I've lobbed your way.
Please just be honest about it. You hate me.
Ugh. I feel bad now that I posted this. That I posted this without saying that the reason I had to say my name 8 times before I could speak to anyone is that I wanted to find out some information on a specific hotel but since Marriott took over there is no longer email addresses for hotels or a chat feature for support.