“Wake up. You’re missing a great game!” “You couldn’t call a cab!” “Lenscrafters called. Your glasses are ready!” Hurling insults at the umpire seems to be as much a part of America’s favorite pastime as hurling the baseball on the field. For me, the heckling just blended into the background, along with vendors' calls of “Getcha popcorn here!” That is, until my brother became a minor league baseball umpire. While the umpires themselves may develop thick skins, their mothers and sisters do not! Every insult seemed to find its way directly to our sweet spots. So, if someone nicely taps you on the shoulder after you shout “I’ve gotten better calls from my ex-wife” and responds with “But, he’s really a very nice person,” you know you’re sitting next to someone on the ump’s “team”!