They care for me, are there for me, their help it never ends.
Whether its first thing in the morning or last thing at the night
My dear friends are always there as long as I've a light.
These friends are not demanding, in fact they have no needs,
They go wherever I do be it London, Bath or Leeds.
They comfort me when times are bad or whenever I am down,
They wait for me to want them there to help pull me around.
They celebrate the best with me, the turning points of life,
Were there when I got qualified and proposed to my wife.
My spectacular victories as my career took its shape,
Were partly due to them as they helped my nervous quake.
I took them on my holidays they joined me in the sun,
We all got drunk together, oh yes they joined me in my fun,
Whether highbrow charity balls or contests eating pies,
They were there helping me to see how the situation lies.
Then when I started lecturing the delegates knew a lot,
My friends were there to prop me up when the questioning got hot.
In social situations where I was lost on what to say,
I could use my friends, excuse myself, to get out of the way.
But recently I had the need to call upon the Quack,
I'd got a truly awful cough it really was a hack.
My doctor duly asked about my dearest little friends,
and then to my complete dismay he said it had to end.
It seems that over time my friends have been quite clingy,
Mainly around the lungs where its all gone a bit stringy.
My Doctor says its not a good thing that my friends have gone and done,
If I dont end it with them now itll be like playing with a gun.
So last month I spoke unto my friends now called Silk Cut Low,
And told them very clearly I was sorry they must go.
To my dismay they gave no sound, they didnt show regrets,
So I placed them in the bin MY DEAREST CIGARETTES.
So now I'm fit and healthy for I've given up the weed,
No standing in the freezing cold to satisfy the need.
No seeking out a brolly and huddling in the rain,
No seeking out the late night shops that really was a pain.
Yes life is so much better now without a single rotten ***,
My lungs can breathe, my nose can smell, now I no longer drag
My fingers don't stop moving but its my brain that is the biggie,
All it does is shout all day I NEED A BLOODY CIGGIE!